Angel Melissa's Story

July 23, 1981-Jan. 4, 1997

Melissa came to our home in 1981.... Let me tell you about Melissa !

In January 1981 a friend told me of a young woman who was pregnant and unwed.. She asked me to join her in praying for her situation in the coming months. The woman was a very capable person but was not ready for a child. As the months went by I was kept informed of the latest happenings. Denial seemed to hinder her from making plans for herself and her baby. We were becoming more and more concerned. As the time drew near for delivery plans were made to place the baby for adoption. We were thankful for the decision that was made. Soon the news of the birth of a baby girl came. The adoption plans were no longer an option as the baby girl was born with many problems that were so severe that she could not live long. The doctors said that she had no brain tissue ...only a brain stem.. she was blind, deaf, unresponsive, unaware, and dying.. Her baby was not normal... There would be no adoption... no one to love her baby.. What a heavy load for a young woman as she pondered her loss...What would....what could this mother do? That was the moment I realized how emotionally involved I had become in the entire situation. I had never met this woman but for seven months she was on my heart and in my prayers each and every day. I definitely was involved emotionally and I felt helpless!

In a few days I was called by a social worker about a newborn baby that would not live but a few weeks at most and was being released from the hospital. She explained that she didn't have a clue as to where an infant like this could live its last days.. She needed to do something NOW.. Could I help her find a placement -a nursing facility or something?? My heart was leaping as I realized that this was the baby I knew about. I offered to bring her home with me until a better placement could be found. I knew that there was no other placement needed and that I wanted to take care of her. The social worker and I went to the hospital to pick up the baby. I knew the nurse that was her primary nurse.. she hugged me and begged me not to take this baby home. She would die soon and she reminded me that less than a year before we had lost Michael. She also explained that because of her neurological damage she would scream continuously. She was screaming a terrible high pitched scream at that moment. She had not stopped but for a short time since birth when she was sedated for surgery to place a shunt in her head. She continued to explain how the baby would not respond to caregivers, she could not take in enough nourishment because she could barely suck. Having a family would make no difference to her. As I picked up that beautiful dark haired ,dark eyed screaming little girl to dress her to go home she stopped crying. I held her all the way home and found that she did not cry as much as had been reported. She did not feed well but with a little work and time she began to take adequate formula.

When she was 15 months old we petitioned the court to adopt her. We wanted her to have a family and beside that we loved her so much. By the time she was two years old she began to have favorite ways of responding differently to each familiar person. What is that about being oblivious to life around her? By the time she was four years old she was looking "at" us and not "through" us. WE HAVE A MIRACLE! !!

Melissa is 13 years old ..she is still like a 3-6 month old baby in her development but she is a social, beautiful, and sensitive little girl. There are some very hard days. She has grown to a near normal size (the doctors say that is impossible). She is a delightful baby. She rarely cries and nearly always has a smile. She delights in piano, flute, Christian and classical music. Many hours are spent listening to music. Even at night when she would rather play than sleep. She continues to be the joy of our family and anyone who knows her. She loves people but "checks out new voices". Many people have been touched by her life. We have had several unwed young ladies that are pregnant live with us. They tell me about re-evaluating what is really important in their lives.. are drugs and drinking worth it? Melissa can give insight to anyone willing to learn. Loving her is such a privilege. We can not expect anything in return.. our love must be unconditional.. but she freely smiles and coos to express herself . I remember one young mother that had placed her baby in adoption that told me she was so glad that her baby was a boy because if it had been a girl she might not have been able to place her baby in adoption as she wanted to have a relationship with a daughter like Melissa and I had. Does that mean that Melissa was responding to me..

We feel we have been right in the middle of a miracle that started three years before her birth. Our family learned when we lost Michael that we could survive with God's help. We are totally dependant on Him for our very existence. The lessons learned with our experiences with Michael prepared us for the opportunity of caring for Melissa. We might not have been as willing to open ourselves up in such a seemingly hopeless situation if we had not learned our lessons well.

God had prepared my heart to receive Melissa with that first contact about a woman needing prayer. Thank God that I responded and became involved!! Not only are you blessed when you focus on others and lift them up in prayer.. in this case I know that Melissa became my baby with that decision to become involved. God knew all along what was to happen. I was being prepared to receive a very special gift.

Melissa has served a very real purpose in our lives. Our family has learned so much about the worth of every living soul....not every living genius....every living soul! We have been able to care for numerous babies that were severely disabled or dying.

God is do faithful.. He will use the most unlikely people to do what needs to be done. He will never let you down. I've learned that there is something worse than children suffering and dying and that is the children that have to go through it alone. And there are many children that for what ever reason go through this alone somewhere in a large understaffed facility ..in the corner of a hospital nursery or a home where the family does not get information and/or support and help to understand how wonderful in Gods eyes their child is.

We all need prayer and love and so do they. I am convinced that NO child is so disabled that he or she does not respond to love...Gods love. You know, sometimes they do not outwardly show it ..maybe because they are being held captive in a body that doesn't work but they feel it inside.. their soul is well and whole. I have felt tight ,stiff, broken little bodies relax in my arms when doctors have said that they would respond to nothing. Some people would say these children are not worth protecting in the womb and some are rejected after birth by society. God asks Christians to love and provide for the little children, the widows, the homeless,...even unto the least of these............I know God does not reject these little ones. My desire is to become more Christ like in every part of my life. These little ones have been teachers with the wisdom and strength of Angels

June 22,1995

This was added to the above and printed in Celebrate Life. I feel a great responsibility to share my experiences as they are given by God for His glory and for our growth thru complete dependence on Him. Certainly our desire is that no child would ever be born imperfect ..but.. living in this imperfect sinful world...this will happen .If we feel strongly about the sanctity of life and the worth of EVERY living soul we must be willing to offer options. There are many different ways of putting action to our words...It can be helping women with difficult pregnancies .-We can all pray for families in difficult situations. I feel "called" to offer encouragement to families and to be available to physically care for the babies that need special care. We all have "ministries"-We all must DO something!

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March 1995

A newborn infant with the same diagnosis as Melissa has come to live with us in January 1995. We are aware daily of Gods hand on this child. (Elizabeth's Story is told on her own page)

January 1997

Ron and I are living with mixed emotions at this time. Our precious Melissa died suddenly January 4th at 10 p. She was quiet, happy and doing well. Even smiling at her very last breath. It probably was her heart .It could have been damaged from the obstructive breathing she had experienced before her two surgeries in November. .As for me I can not imagine every day without her...so much time and energy was given to her,,,, but then that’s what it is all about isn't it.....I cannot explain the peace I feel about her...we had her for 151/2 years more than medically possible and they were good years....Ron says that he would do it again in a moment.. we both have no regrets...we lost a beautiful, loving, fun little girl that now has a perfect body in Heaven...we were both there when she died...she was not suffering...God took care of us again.! Terry Bernard from North Anderson Church of God had the memorial service and it seemed like, as Ron put it, that Melissa had been promoted. The service was beautiful with lots of music and Terry reminded us all about the value of every life... Melissa had touched many lives.. He said that planning her service had made such an impact on him that he would never be the same.. God still used Melissa even in her death. We have no cause for sadness.. we mourn and there's an emptiness in our home "her absence is everywhere" but God has promised that for the Christian all things work together for good...and as I look back over the last almost 16 years it is very clear that God had a plan from the day Melissa was conceived and He continues to be in control. Melissa's life will always be an influence in our lives. Nothing will ever be the same. Forgive me for going on so ...but we wanted to share some of our feelings with you at this time of great loss...Melissa is now with Jesus Himself in her perfected body.. We have a miracle!

The only unsuccessful person is the one who never comes to the Lord and never reaches Heaven..

Michael and Melissa are both in Heaven.