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Hydranencephaly Resources in caring for a Child with Hydranencephaly Physical Care of a Child with Hydranencephaly Difficult Times
Pt. 1: Taking Care of You Book: Caring for Your Child With Hydranencephaly
Printed Materials |
What If? Part 5 To make it easier to find and use I’ve put the information on helping children with issues related to death, in a separate section. The majority of the information in this part of the book/website is found on a number of different websites. I've included the text of the one article from a book that I have and just the links to the other information.
How to
Tell Children That a Loved One Has a Serious Illness Answering a Child's Questions about Death http://www.funeralplan.com/griefsupport/childquestions.html
Explaining Cremation to a Child
How to Prepare a Child for a
Funeral
Talking To Children About Funerals
& Death
How To Help Your Children:
Brothers and sisters often spend more time together than other members of the family do. They, too, are grieving and may be sad, angry and fearful because they no longer have the same family they had before. Like their parents, brothers and sisters have their own individual ways of grieving. Their thoughts and feelings are shaped by many factors including age, development and the manner in which the death occurred. Equally important are their personalities and the manner in which they respond to stress and change.
Children’s Understanding of Death Children between seven and eleven understand that death can be caused by illness or trauma to the body and that it is irreversible. They are curious about the physical aspects of death and the details about burial. After about age eleven, children view death in much the same way as adults. They understand the possibility of death occurring to them and to others in the futures. Because of their life experience, children who are terminally ill often display an understanding of death that belies their years, but certainly not their experience. This “advanced” understanding may also hold true for children who have experienced the death of someone in their immediate family. Children’s understanding of death is also influenced both by what they are taught intentionally and what they learn by simply observing their parents. Children can be frightened and puzzled by intense parental emotions they have not seen before. Reassure them that your sadness does not lessen your love for them. When you are struggling with your own feelings, it is hard to find the energy to respond to your children’s emotional needs. If you talk naturally and openly about the child who died and make yourself available, your children will ask questions when they are ready. Honest, uncomplicated answers to their questions are best. Try to give children just as much information as they ask for. There are few right and wrong answers. What is most important is your availability, openness, support and encouragement. By facing your own grief, you can show your children that it is all right to cry, to be sad or angry, even to laugh. Children’s Ways of
Grieving
Children also express their feelings through their behaviour and physical reactions. They may have headaches; tummy aches, sleeping difficulties, changes in appetite and anxiety. They may be sad, lonely, withdrawn or may act out their feelings by being irritable and aggressive. This puts extra strain on your interactions with them. It is not uncommon for adolescents to display their anger in risk-taking behaviours. Most children have trouble concentrating and, as a result, their school works suffers. Some children force themselves to do better in school, achieving good grades while engaging in lots of activities. They attempt to fill their emptiness with busyness. Telling reaches what has happened will help the teachers understand your child better. Children need opportunities to express what they are living through, be it through play, drawing, physical activity or conversation. Equally important, they need to know that it is okay to carry on with their usual routines. Like adults, children’ grief is unique and personal. However, young children, in particular, often have difficulty distinguishing between fantasy and reality. They may feel guilty; believing that the jealousy they felt toward their sibling caused the death. Your can reassure them that thinking about or wishing something would happened does not cause it to happen. When a loved one dies, children are confronted with their own and their parents’ mortality. You can reassure them by talking about the reality of this fear, while emphasizing that your immediate death, and theirs, is highly unlikely. Sometimes, unconsciously and unintentionally, parents expect a surviving child to take the place of the dead child or conceive a child to replace the dead child. I such situations, parents inevitably are disappointed. Their expectations are impossible for the child to meet. Children become resentful when they realize they cannot live up to the ideal image of the deceased child. Finding Your Way, Grieving The Death of Your Child, by Joanne Chekry Reimer, RN, MN, Betty Daview, RN, PhD. Canuck Place Children’s Hospice, Brothers and Sisters Grieve too, pp 23-26
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August 16, 2001- January 12, 2005 This website is funded in loving memory of Jason S. by his mother Kammy The information on this site is provided by families, caregivers, and professionals who are or have been caring for a child with Hydranencephaly. Please report any broken links or missing photos to angelbearmom@shaw.ca
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